Ordinary Thoughts

"You can build a shack overnight, but if you want to build a house that can stand against the fury of hurricane or storm, it will take time."

Although I am uncertain if that is the exact sentence, nonetheless I'm sure that the idea expressed in the sentence above is the wisdom that the author of the book, which I've read years ago, is trying to relay to its readers.

We may have different interpretations but this is the way I comprehend it. What the author was saying is that there is no shortcut to anything in this world. You should exert efforts and keep your patience always high. In other words, if you want to own a house you wish to be yours forever, you should work hard so you will have the money to buy it. But if you just want to dwell in it for only a day or two, you can easily rent it because you will only be needing a few bucks, you don't have to work hard.

Now I'd like to apply this principle to the attitude I am possessing at the moment. All this time, I thought I am no longer the same procrastinator I was then, that I'm already a mature responsible person. But look what I'm doing right now. We have many many things to do for our major subjects--articles, exams, documentaries, etc. etc.

All of these have deadlines but I seem not to care at all. I did not even submit an article yet for one of our major subjects while all of my classmates were able to beat the deadline three days ago.

Well, we actually had our news legging and I think my facts would be enough to make a five-page news feature article. But I just can't find the energy or the enthusiasm to do so. It's as if I do not care at all if I'll be given a failing grade. It's as if I do not care to graduate anymore. It's as if...

Actually, this post is supposedly a lengthy one but again, I feel like procrastinating so I will end this piece of crap 'til here only. Sorry for the wasted time. :(

Last night, (if I may borrow these words from our EIC) marked another milestone in the annals of the publication’s history. We just had to put an end to the two-month training of the newbies in the publication.

To come up with a sound decision, the editorial board made a deliberation as to who’s going to make it and who’s not. It was not an easy task of course because whatever decision the board makes, it will directly or indirectly affect the motivation or maybe even the life of the newbies. It might even affect their studies, since we are all full time students here, although it totally depends on how they accept it.

And so a painstaking assessment to their performance during their stint in the publication became our solid basis for the decision. There were verbal tussles among the editors which only proved how difficult the tasked put on our shoulders that time. Matter-of-factly, we even had to reminisce how we went into the same process during our fresh months in the institution. Needless to say, we also felt the same amount of trepidation (if I may use it in lieu of nervousness), the same amount of thrill, and the same amount of cold sweats, thus we were utterly sensitive to their feelings. Of course we understand how painful and frustrating it must be for those who won’t make it, but we have to come up with a decision however hard it may be for us, for them.

I always believe that the hardest job in the world is to decide, and again, I have just proven it right last night. After a careful assessment and deliberation, we finally reached a unanimous decision. But our task did not end there for we still have to announce the decision to them.

Before we revealed their verdict, a series of speeches among all the staffers was done first. Then, finally, we heard the words from the newbies. Most of them were nervous, some tried to be confident, some were teary-eyed, and some even burst into tears. Now could you still break the bad news to them?

Nonetheless, we still have to tell them, after all what’s the use of our deliberation? I don’t know how it went so fast, but we were able to tell them in just a few minutes. But after that, the editors all felt the guilt haunting us. We just saw mixed emotions from them. For those who made it, we saw overflowing joy and gratitude, but of course, we also saw disappointment. I just hope that they would understand that our decision and accept it without hard feelings—I just hope because I was not able to sleep well last night. I have been in the publication for three joyful years now, but I’ve never been caught in I what I considered the most awkward situation of my student journalist’s life, until last night.

On a lighter side, I would like to congratulate those newbies who are now officially members of The NORSUnian. I hope you would continue to excel, stay humble, stay responsible, and keep your spirit up. God bless us.

Today I just figured that I should end this stupidity
before it devours my sanity.
I have proven time and again that a relationship
whose foundation is as weak as infant and
a relationship that sprung out of lies
and nurtured with lies
will never head a rightful path.
Yet, I continued playing with the game
believing we could work things out.
But what could you expect from a treacherous love affair?
I should not have allowed us to reach this far,
I should not have invested too much,
and I should not have played the game where
we would all be losers hurting at the end.
But what's the use of my blah blah blah
over things that can never be undone?
So the mature thing to do now is to
let go of it at once whilst I still have the courage to lose grip.
Today, I'm putting a quotation to this stupid sentence--a period.
Thank you and GOODBYE!

I saw a man
staring at me—not winking
His mind shouting for help
albeit his silence

He’s trapped in a dark smoky world
helpless, exhausted

He’s barring a tear
that’s been peeping in his tired eyes

His soul bathing
in a fathomless river of solitude

He stretched his pale lips
faking a smile
But it only made him
more miserable
His soul wrecked

I’ve never seen a man
with such a dying spirit

I wanted to help
cheer him maybe

But I was bitten by reality
I don’t differ to this man
I ain’t capable of helping
I’m just a reflection of him

This house is as empty as a vacuum
Notwithstanding my presence
I’m just so detached from the world
No one to chat with or cry with
Not even a beep from them
Just a radio

So I continued writing this piece
alongside a black coffee
Every sip is a hope
That its bitterness
Would drown at once
this emotional turmoil

Before I take another gulp
I saw the man again
But now I’ve figured
his identity
I am not his reflection
it’s the other way

Pagal ang katawan
Butas ang isipan
Kailangang umusad
Bahala na si Batman
Tila nag-iisip
Mas lalong nilalaliman
Wala namang laman
Takte!

Mabilis ang lakbay ng diwa
Wala namang patutunguhan
Kahit anu na lang
'Wag lang mabaliw
Malapit na!

Pilit may inaalala
Ayan at natameme na
Ayaw talaga
Walang mapiga
Tigilan na!

Biglang may tumunog
Paulit-ulit
Tulog mantika pa rin si katabi
Di bali na
Hayaan na natin siya
Ayan na naman
Ang kulet talaga!

Oopps...Lemme correct myself, I don't mean I want to have carpentry as my source of living in the future (although I am not closing my door to the idea). I just want to know a little bit of this craft.

Of course, I am seeing myself as a husband and a father someday, so naturally I am expected to fix the fence or maybe repair some broken cabinets or drawers and all those simple hammering jobs. For God's sake, how will I perform such job when I can't even properly use a hand saw? I am not even sure if I could drill a small hole inside the house or use those simple hand tools myself. Aside from turning a flashlight on and off, what else do I know? (sighs)

Well these are just self-inquiries. I believe it's never too late for me to learn some of these things someday--before I'll start my own family. What about you guys, do you have the same inquiries? Perhaps, we have become so dependent to all these touch or press stuffs we are enjoying in our generation now that we are no longer minding those simple things I've mentioned above. I hate to admit it but I'm guilty of this.