Ordinary Thoughts

I thought I had changed for the better
But it was a wishful thinking

All this time I thought I am--changed
But people don't believe
Rather, they dissuade me from continued believing

I thought I would be vindicated
But what a fool of me
Man, 'twas a make believe

I acted as if I could cope up,
as if I was getting there--slowly at least
But they are reluctant,
they bar me

What an idiot of me to assume
That wounds were healed
and gaps were bridged
When all this time,
They keep the wounds fresh
And the distance perpetual

Then out of failure I asked myself
How can we all move on?
Or how can we even grow?
When people won't allow you!

If it is your job to make people laugh
You don't expect them to do just the same for you

For they expect you to entertain them
They don't care who entertains you when you're down

If it is your business to make them happy
You don't have to right to be melancholic

For they expect you to be strong always
Even if you can never be any stronger

If people want you to ease their problems
You'll have to rise from the sickbed and serve them

For they won't care if you're dying
Just set aside yourself and serve them, JUST THEM!

When you are a funnyman
You have to be funny all the time

For you can never entertain people when you cry
Or, perhaps they'll still laugh at you insensibly

People love you when you crack a joke
They don't mind you when you drop a tear

So you'll have to wear a facade sometimes
Or become the other person oftentimes

In a world where people see you ONLY as a CLOWN
They won't make notice of you however you're hurting

For they only befriend you for the smiles
But they haven't really known you at all

That is your life...
So...?
Who cares?
Anyone?

Just don't bother yourself my dear
It's all for the laughs cant' you see?

In fact, ever since the news about her demise broke out, I was one with the whole nation who quickly said their massive prayers for her soul. I, together with all the members of our student publication, even wore yellow shirts to show our sympathy and love for Tita Cory.

And speaking of love, hundreds of thousands of people yesterday filled the streets where the convoy of Cory passed, to show their love and respect for her—forming a sea of crowd in yellow that was only seen in the funeral of our national hero Ninoy almost three decades ago. People in all walks of life poured out in the streets and battled the rain only to see our beloved president for the last time. Many of them flashed the “laban” sign while shouting Cory’s name.

It was a moving scenario not only to the immediate family of Tita Cory but for all the Filipinos as well. Our former president’s children even claimed that the crowd yesterday was even larger than her father’s funeral—that even excludes the rest of the Filipinos across the globe that were glued to their TV or radio to keep abreast with the funeral rites.

Truly, the yesterday’s scenario was similar to that of Ninoy’s funeral which has drawn millions. In 1983, people hit the streets to show their sympathy for Ninoy along with the hope that the country could move from the dark days of the Marcos regime. Yesterday, however, people from all walks of life—men, women, old, young, children, politicians, churchmen, soldiers, rich, laymen, etc. went to the streets to show their love for Cory. No more expectations, just love. Not asking anything in return, just love. And nothing but their overflowing love to the 1986 Time Magazine’s Woman of the Year who restored our democracy.

May this scenario serve as an eye-opener to us all, most importantly, to politicians to serve the people first before serving their own interest.