Ordinary Thoughts

I hate to fall into this deception once again. However, much as I try to suppress this budding attraction I'm feeling towards the opposite sex, I can only try much. You don't have a slightest hint how you always cross my mind. I wonder if I ever crossed yours, I'm not hoping though. Sigh. If only I were as insensitive as most people think I am, I wouldn't have to fuss on this issue. It's just too hard to deal with this special feeling especially if you know very well that the feeling isn't going somewhere--especially if you know very well that you'll get nothing but excruciating pain in return. Well I just can't fight this emotion anymore no matter how I feign. I'm not even buying it myself. I guess I cannot but let it flow freely.

Today I just figured that I should end this stupidity
before it devours my sanity.
I have proven time and again that a relationship
whose foundation is as weak as infant and
a relationship that sprung out of lies
and nurtured with lies
will never head a rightful path.
Yet, I continued playing with the game
believing we could work things out.
But what could you expect from a treacherous love affair?
I should not have allowed us to reach this far,
I should not have invested too much,
and I should not have played the game where
we would all be losers hurting at the end.
But what's the use of my blah blah blah
over things that can never be undone?
So the mature thing to do now is to
let go of it at once whilst I still have the courage to lose grip.
Today, I'm putting a quotation to this stupid sentence--a period.
Thank you and GOODBYE!

This stupidity is beyond my plans for the heart’s day. It hasn’t even paid a visit in my subconscious. Bearing this madness over someone special is truly unexpected. But it is now futile to cry over spilled milk, as the old adage goes. Maybe it’s time for these two individuals to take their separate ways.

Once again, I have proven how love destroys the sanity of a clever person. (Please set aside the notion that I’m bragging myself on the last two words of the preceding sentence.) No matter how hard a person tries not to be vulnerable from the weakening powers of love, he’s still caught off guard sometimes—and you can count me in!

They say that the most important thing that should be present in a relationship is TRUST. Yes, trust. This five-letter-word which is very precious for others that is why they hesitate to give it wholeheartedly to their partners, however strong the feeling is. Nonetheless, you really have to give trust if want to be trusted. And so to speak, by all means, I have given mine.

But what if at the end of the day, you will find out that the person you have trusted does not really deserve the trust? And more than that, what if that person utterly destroyed the trust? How would you react? Can you forgive the offender? Of course not right?

Now in my viewpoint, my initial reaction would be to despise the person—forgiveness may come later as time goes by.

However, what if you still love the person? Is love without trust enough to keep you holding on? I believe that is stupidity but I can’t categorize myself afar from it as well. Is this really what others call “falling in love”? Do we really have to fall in love? Why don’t we climb? Now that’s hilarious! I’m going out of the topic now.

Well anyway, I don’t want to put more torture to myself. At least now, I have escaped from the “painful” stage and I think I’m doing it great—yeah, great, great pretender.

I just want to curse her. Slap her. Do some tongue-lashing. And most importantly, hate her. Hate her today, tomorrow and in perpetuity. But, what I vehemently hate now is the fact that I can’t hate her enough despite what she’s done. And this keeps me a stupid person.

LOVE SUCKS!