Ordinary Thoughts

This post has no particular topic. There's just too many thoughts running in my mind at the moment, so I guess I should just mention them one by one.

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* I was so happy yesterday coz I was able to catch up with the college friends although it was quite a restricted reunion coz we only had a conference call. It wasn't an ideal reunion, but it was satisfying though. Everybody was just so excited to hear each other's voice and boast his/her life's buzzes. Although we only talked thru phone, the fun still overflowed. As in it was so much fun conversing with them. There isn't really a replacement for them notwithstanding the new friends I found at my workplace. Still nothing can replace them in my heart.

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* I just realized that this is now my sixth week as a copyeditor trainee. I only have to hurdle eight more weeks to finish the training. After that it's up to the company whether to hire me and my co-trainees. Good luck to us then!

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* I paid a visit at the publication office the other day and I was very glad to see the again faces of my TN family. It had only been weeks but a lot of things unbeknownst to me had already happened. Well not particularly pertaining to the publication but to the people I am close with. It saddened me to learn that one has to go, but I think it's only proper. On the other hand, there is this one member whose narcissism has gone out of cage. I hope he, for the Love of God, would change before everyone gets mad at him.

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* I chatted with my cousin from the US and she said she's going to give me her laptop computer when she arrives home early next year. Although it's still such a long time but it's better to have something to expect. Yipee!

I think this will do for now. I don't have time anymore to extend this post. Bye for now bloggers. Ciao!

I hate to fall into this deception once again. However, much as I try to suppress this budding attraction I'm feeling towards the opposite sex, I can only try much. You don't have a slightest hint how you always cross my mind. I wonder if I ever crossed yours, I'm not hoping though. Sigh. If only I were as insensitive as most people think I am, I wouldn't have to fuss on this issue. It's just too hard to deal with this special feeling especially if you know very well that the feeling isn't going somewhere--especially if you know very well that you'll get nothing but excruciating pain in return. Well I just can't fight this emotion anymore no matter how I feign. I'm not even buying it myself. I guess I cannot but let it flow freely.

A week after the historic full-blown automated national and local elections in Juan dela Cruz's nation, we are now practically still facing surprises brought about by the turnout of events. Well it isn't much of a surprise to know that the overly popular Sen. Noynoy is now nesting on the top spot of the presidential race. No doubt he can now stretch on a couch and listen to the ticking of the clock while he's waiting for the poll agency to officially pronounce him as the incoming president and successor of unpopular PGMA. What surprised me though is the fact that much of the votes were shared by Noy and Erap--like who would have thought? I dunno...I'm just surprised. For now, I can't stretch this post anymore coz my shift's almost over and the next agent is now here. ciao!

The time has come for us Filipinos to show our solidarity again. In this crucial time for our country, let us all unite and advocate for a clean and peaceful national and local elections. Let us use this significant event to show to the world that we Filipinos are responsible citizens. In spite of our divided political views, let us be united in one advocacy--that is to practice our constitutional right to vote. Let us tell the world that we aren't apathetic nor indifferent citizens. Show them we care for each other and for our future especially that of our nation.

Today, rise and shine early and proceed to your respective polling precincts. Make sure to cast your votes and persuade others to do the same. Make an extra effort also to survey your environment and report to authorities any election related irregularities you might notice. Our responsibility does not end after shading our ballots. It is equally important that we see to it that our votes, together with the votes of the rest of our countrymen, are counted truthfully. Let us not allow dirty politicians to use their money and buy people who'll try to manipulate election results in favor of their selfish aims. Our nation needs our cooperation now more than ever, and we are oblige to heed to this because whatever transpires in this elections, we are all directly affected.

Let me reiterate my point. It doesn't matter whom you're going to give your vote, as long as you are directed by your conscience and not by money (I'm referring to vote buying here), you are on the right path. Having said all these, lemme say good luck to all of us. Let's just all pray that everything will turn out fine. Good day!

Today is a special day for one of the special persons in our life--our mother. Let us utilize this occasion to thank them, to tell them how much we love and care for them, to apologize for whatever mistakes and/or insults and/or disappointments we have caused them, and to pay tribute to them in our own simple ways. It can be a lavish surprise party, an expensive gift, or just the simplest thing one can do to make them feel special on this very day. In fact, one doesn't have to force one's self just to buy a present for her because a simple I LOVE YOU coupled with a tight and prolong hug to go with sweet kisses will be more than enough gestures to make them feel the essence of Mother's day.

As for me, I still don't have a fixed plan as to how I'm going to surprise my mom. She asked me to buy her an ice cream the other day but I just shrugged. To make it up to her, I think I will have to surprise her today with an ice cream while saying my greetings, whacha think? It might be very simple but I'm pretty sure it would mean a lot to her especially that I don't give her presents often. This time, it's really the thought that counts. So Imma have to stick to this idea and buy a gallon of ice before I go home this morning. I just hope the ice cream won't become a soup when I arrive home considering that I'd still have to travel for at least 30 minutes. :)

Ma, you may not be the perfect mother--as we are not the perfect children--but your overflowing and unconditional love for us is more than enough replacement to whatever imperfections you possess. And for that we, all of your children, will be forever thankful for having you as our mother. If God will give us privilege to choose our desired mother, we will still unanimously handpick you over anyone else. We, at least I, could not just ask for anybody else.

Happy Mother's Day Ma. I can't be sure whether you will have the chance to read this someday, but if you do, please remember that I always love you and that will be in perpetuity. I'm sorry for my stubbornness, laziness, my being disrespectful sometimes, and for whatever pains and inconveniences I've brought you, please forgive me. Bear in mind that you are a wonderful mother and you will always be one of my precious few possessions. I don't have much in life ma, but for as long as you're with me (and our family of course), I feel so rich. :)

To all the mothers out there, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. To all the children, please pay tribute to your moms because if not for them, you will not exist in this world. Go ahead and hug your mom. Also, don't forget to tell her how much you love her. :)

Some say earning a college degree is difficult. Others say the same on finding a job after graduation. I'd say they're all right--absolutely right!

For me, however, there is still a more difficult job than the aforementioned statements. It's on deciding what direction of life one should take after long years of academic journey. Granted that going to school does not come easy nor does it come cheap, but under the auspices of one's parents, coupled with one's diligence and backed by perseverance it can be hurdled. Then, joining the labor force thereafter may be challenging, especially if you get rejected couple of times. Just don't give up and always put your best foot forward; sooner of later, you'll get a job.

Deciding what path to take in life is another story. One might be overconfident of their plans while still at school, but I'm telling you, with myriad uncontrollable circumstances lurking in every outskirt, life may turn out upside down leaving you dumbfounded and unable to take grip of it no more. You don't have to like it though coz that's just the beauty of life. Nothing's certain. Everything's temporary. Worse is, it comes with no signal and catches us off-guard oftentimes. Once it struck you, you won't anymore be sure of your every decision. And that's what happened to me. I was so sure then of my life's itinerary. But now, I'm only comporting to the situation I chose to engage. If I only resorted to impulsive decision, this life now would have been different although I can't be sure if it's negative or positive.

Today will be the start of my second week as a copy editor trainee at SPi.

As we advance in the training, I am already expecting the lessons to become more challenging; although we are still on the first module of the training which deals with the English language. After finishing basic and tertiary education, I thought the lesson will be as easy as ABC; but I was wrong. I was surprised to find out that I forgot almost everything I learned in school. I was like learning everything all over again within 80 hours only (divided into 4 hours a day so that would stretch to one month). Of course one can already picture how challenging it can be.

In spite of this, I am not worried because I know I'm not alone. (haha...confident :)) There are actually six of us in batch six undergoing training together with two SPi scholars who're joining us in the first month of the training. Modesty aside, there were more than a hundred who took the exam but only six of us passed so that's already a little achievement for us. :) The training, in my opinion, gets harder everyday but we don't seem to notice it because we don't treat it too seriously at all. Every time we're on discussion or answering exercises, we always insert a little funny conversation to lighten up the task (huh? what am i saying here?). Perhaps this is because we are all young people in the batch. The youngest in our batch is 19 while the oldest is 27 and none is married yet which according to our trainer is first time to ever happen.

Anyway, the training will last for four months and we are still on second week. Our trainers told us that the difficult part of the training will begin when we start doing the project specific. By the time we reach that phase of the training, she said we could no longer afford to smile at each other because of pressure. She said there are too many instructions we needed to familiarize ourselves with and all the other factors. If that is going to be the case, it is only proper that we enjoy ourselves while still at the first phase of the training because we might not be able to do it anymore later on.

Aside from the training, what I like in my new job is I get to see a lot of people everyday. I'm not sure about the figure but I think there are about 900+ employees at the present and still growing. Whenever we take our break and go to the canteen, it's just like I'm in school where I see students queuing to buy food. I think it's quite cool. Yeah, for now everything is still cool--one week down, 15 weeks to go.

I can't say anything else, this is just a quick post so I'll end this right here. I've to log out now...bye!

I know I've been barring this emotion for a while now. Yeah, I think I like you though I refused to acknowledge it and kept it stagnant somewhere in my heart instead. I was completely clueless that it has grown stealthily over time. Now, I think it has reached maturity because it started rushing through me and I don't know how to handle it. I was caught off-guard so to speak. The thought of confronting the emotion and confronting you, most especially, baffles me (or scares me might be more appropriate). For God's sake, I just don't know how. If I were to trust my instinct, I'd assume I've this little chance on you. But I can't gamble the relationship we have now. I don't have the balls yet. By the way, I dreamed of you the other night. It was so vivid that I thought it wasn't just something from my subconscious mind. It was exquisitely real and I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. Should I take that as a sign to pursue you? I wish I have the answer now. Rather, all I have is this sickening feeling. I need a sign from Him. I have to definitely do something about this before it backfires on me. :(

I'm not sure if you're into blogging, but if you happen to bump my site, Ya know who you are. I like you. :)

Hanging by a moment.

Today I was supposed to know the result of my examination in the job I applied for as a copy editor. I called the publishing firm yesterday but they told me to give them a callback today. When I spoke to the HR this afternoon, I was nonetheless told to call them again this weekend because they had just forwarded my essay exam to Manila and the result will not be available until Saturday.

After learning this, I was like ah ok this torture has to linger for a few more days. I've no other choice but to wait though.

What irritates me actually is not the delayed result of the exam. Rather, its the fact that I still can't figure out what I will do with my life after graduation. I have a part-time job presently but aside from the fact that I don't want to be stuck in call centers, the financial remuneration is not much considering that I'm only working every weekends. The only thing that keeps me going there is that I've been close to my coworkers and the job is not as stressful because I seldom receive irate calls. Sometimes, there's no call at all so I can just surf the net all I want. But really, I just love my employers because they're so kind. It's my first job also so I kinda treasure it til now.

Now this job I applied for in a publishing firm is not actually the one I have been longing for when I was still in college. I always wanted to go to Cebu instead and become a media practitioner. This whole idea of applying as a copy editor just came without signal and I just impulsively decided to apply because the salary is good.

I consider making decisions as the hardest job in the world, and now, I'm once again struck by its difficulty. I was so afraid that I might make an indecision but look at what I have dragged myself into. I'm left hanging by a moment. Hanging because I still have to wait for the result of my application in the publishing firm before I could decide to practice journalism in Cebu. Since I've already troubled myself in applying for this job, I decided to just wait for the outcome. If I'll make it, perhaps, I'll give it a year or two for experience. If I won't, Cebu here I come.

I actually do not see anything wrong with the work in the publishing company. First, it pays well. Second, I have been doing the work when I was still in the university. Third, I'm just here in the city, with my parents, with my friends, with people who are familiar to me, and the place of course, I don't have to adapt into whatever changes at all.

Nevertheless, it is because of these reasons that I want to go to other place. A place where I can start by my own. For many years now, I'm dependent with my parents, they wash my clothes, wash the dishes, provide me with allowance, they pay the bills, and all I do is sleep, eat, and work. Because of this almost couch potato lifestyle, I'm challenged to go off alone where I could learn to do everything by my own. That I think will give me a better definition of what life is. Also I'd like to work in a place where I know no one, where I would have to worry everyday what to eat, if I still have money for fare, and for my other necessities. In short, a life where everyday is a challenge. That I think that will make me a better man. Independent!

Most importantly, I want to go to Cebu because it's a place where I could best practice my profession. Dumaguete--my place--is very peaceful. This is best for retirees to spend their pension but not for a fresh graduate like me who wants to grow as a person and as a professional. There is almost no news in Dumaguete. And, being a journalist here will not even suffice to feed your hungry stomach including your family. In a metropolitan city like Cebu, the action is there and the money is there although the latter is not my priority as of the moment. My priority really is to practice my profession and grow as a person. But as of now, I can't be certain if I really know what my priority is.

I badly need intellectual advice. However, here's my gameplan. I'll just have to wait until Saturday, hear the result, if I'll make it, I'll get the job the muster the experience, if not, my Cebu dream will push though. How's that?

We're supposed to finish our project for our major subject today, but....

When I got out from my workplace at past 9 in the morning, I scurried to go home early. But since our residence is a couple miles away, I didn't reach home until past 10. I waited for a while because my mom was still cooking breakfast. After a quick breakfast, I read two chapters of "False Memory" by Dean Koontz because I didn't want to fall into deep slumber while my stomach's full. (AyokongBangungotin!) So, I think I fell asleep around 11 something.

I kinda loath to rise up early but I had to be awake at 3:30 p.m so I won't miss OUR rendezvous with my classmates (but since we have graduated already, I think there should be former before the last word) set at 4 in the late afternoon.

In spite of my efforts to be on time, I hit Dumaguete at past 5 which means I was already late for more than an hour but I was hoping they'll consider me because I reside a bit far from the city. While en route to the internet cafe of our (former) professor, I was baffled why not one of my classmates ever send me a text message to know my whereabouts. Since I was not able to reload my cellphone load balance, I didn't mind texting them assuming they started working with our project already.

To my surprise, I found not a single shadow from any of my (former)classmates when I arrived at the internet cafe. I asked the attendant, not surprisingly, she confirmed that not one of my classmate showed up. Upon learning this, I was like...what the f.... After all the haste I made, this is all I got? After informing them a couple days ago about our project, this is just their silent response? In case you forgot, I'm not the only who needs a grade here. And where the f... is your shame? I can understand those who went to Cebu for their internship including those who went home to their respective provinces. But for those who are just nesting in the city, what excuse do you have? Besides, we all have cellphones; yet, you didn't even have the balls to inform me thru text that you WILL NOT COME so I shouldn't have troubled myself? 1, 2, 3.... Oh c'mon, I don't deserve this. Nobody deserves this.

Or maybe I was just expecting you guys will cooperate. So perhaps I should just take the blame right? Uh! Get a f..... life!

In was supposed to finish it myself, but I could no longer retrieve the videos. In case you care.... But I have a feeling you won't give a damn anyways so come what may guys. Enjoy!

Time's up, game over!

This has to end.
It has to be punctuated now.
Make no mistake, it's a bold period ma'am.
I could no longer fumble a rational ground to continue.
It's better to disengage utterly by now.
After all, this has started undated.
To end in the same fashion would be unnoticeable.
Adieu thorny rose.
My gesticulations say so.
Decode it.
Not a word is necessary.
This silent commencement is more dramatic.
Even contemporary don't you think?
Adieu stained glass.
You've been frigid ever since.
Or I guess we were.
Rejoice now for our game is over.
I'm sorry but another try is not part of the choices.
Just let bygones be bygones.



PS
HAPPY EASTER!

Before anything else, and for the first time, lemme touch the niche of politics in my blog. I am not a die-hard fan of Gibo albeit among the presidential candidates, I think if I'm going to vote right now with my current state of mind, I'll go for him. If you'll ask me why, no offense meant but I'd give my trust to a leader like him over an ex-convict or an over-spender. My instinct tells me so to boot though it shouldn't be the basis in choosing the next chief executive of our country. Whatever or whoever yours may be, I'll respect that as I expect you to do the same.

At any rate, I believe the recent move of Gibo relinquishing his post as the chair of his party is quite a good move--although I would have wanted for him to run independent. Nonetheless, considering the trend in our political arena, one needs a party for financial support and all the other privileges that go with it; therefore, such suggestion is a mere wishful thinking. I just raised it because most of the people whom I spoke with vis-a-vis their bet said Gibo would have been a better choice if he is not under the umbrella of the administration. Many believe that should he win the elections under the support of PGMA, he MIGHT be manipulated by her for the sake of indebtedness--but that's argumentative!

Anyway, this post ain't about policticking, it was just a private opinion of mine, which is as good as yours.

On the other hand, I should talk about life after school. No, no, no. Let me restate the last three words: BOREDOM after school. It's really boring to just sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, and eat the whole day. Granted that I wished for this day to come--no stress from work and school, just pure relaxation--but for Christ's sake not a complete couch potato lifestyle like this for a week and counting. I don't want to join the 'army of unemployed', if I may borrow the words of my former professor--although technically I am employed for a part-time job so I'm not totally a liability to my family. And I'm not saying you are....

I recently applied in a publishing firm in our place but the thrill of knowing the result soon is killing me. God knows how much I'm dying to know the result immediately so I could readily change plans should I won't get the job. Guess what, I'll tell you a little secret, I'm actually hesitant to pursue with my employment here because the thrill of practicing my profession away from my family without knowing anyone, in a place entirely new to me, is adamantly digging in my system. Hell I'd love to get out of my comfort zone!

On a second thought, since I am a fresh graduate, I basically need some experience before hitting big cities. But the question is, will the experience I'll be getting here relevant to the field I'll be plunging in the future? Uhm, its quite relevant...I guess. I know I'm being vague here, but do you have suggestions? Should I bravely step into a place presuming I could face the world and that I could do anything only to find out that I was a fool to believe all these coz I'm absolutely ain't ripe yet, and that I was just rushing things up when I could have done it slowly, smoothly and surely. Alas! I think I'm just pressuring myself, what the rush for? After all, I'm still young and life is good. (Aw?) Oh yeah! Blah blah blah....

Time for updates now...

A lot of things transpired this past few days, and I don't know exactly where to begin.

1. I finally graduated.

2. We successfully had our two-day Lakta Tinta V (a seminar/workshop on campus journalism). The topics were great not to mention the fantastic speakers. I've been attending such activity for three consecutive years now but it was this year only that I think I learned a lot--maybe because all the speakers who confirmed showed up. By and large, it was a great event to end my stint in the publication.

3. Then, I applied as a copy editor in SPi. Much as I'd like to pull forward the hands of time so I would know whether or not I did well in the quite tough exam, I have to wait until April 5 to confront the result. I'm being optimistic, but my fingers are still crossed. If I won't get the job, I've to push through with my Cebu plans. It's only a matter of time now.

4. Right after that, we elected the new set of editorial board in the student publication. I'm happy for Jeremiah for being chosen as the new EIC, as well as to the rest of the neophyte in the editorial positions. It is now your time to take the helm of the leadership and responsibilities guys, just do your job well and everything will be just fine. You might commit blunders at first, but as you learn the ropes, it won't be that hard anymore. Just acknowledge your mistakes, if you must stumble then by all means do it, you'll need all these polishing experience. If it seems like the ordeal is insurmountable, just trust one another, most especially God, and you'll never fail.

For now, I'm still at work albeit its holiday. For the rest, utilize the idle week to reflect.

So long bloggers, happy holidays!

PS
as usual, wala na namang kinalaman ang title sa laman ng post...paxenxa...paxenxa...:)

Wow! When was the last time this blog was updated? Did I not promise to become a religious blogger? Well, I can only answer this line (one of my favorites actually): WORDS are not DEEDS!

Anyhow, I don't know what urged me to make another post. Ah! I know now! I'm inspired by "Up in the Air". Yup, I just finished watching it! Almost 20 minutes now as of this writing.

So what can I say about the flick now? Not much really. Make no mistake, it was a heart warming movie that reminds me how young people differ from their elders as far as their state of mind is concern.

When you are young, you tend to be very idealistic. After earning a degree, of course you'd like a well compensated job so you could buy all those stuffs you've been clamoring for since you were but a child. You want incessant parties, gigs, out of towns, name it. Then when you're tired of fooling around, you'd settle down and make a beautiful family. Send your children to school, work, attend their graduation rites, and then before you know it, you're already a grand parent. Retired and contemplating on your whole existence at the twilight of your life. Is this how you dream your life? Most people probably are.

As you grow older, however, although I don't think I've reached such maturity already to tell this so, you will realize that your insights on life is way simpler than you thought it was when you were younger. I mean as you advance in life, all those physical requirements you were looking for in a girl or guy would just fade notwithstanding your futile consternation. You will be taken aback as you find out that you could actually settle with someone who does not sing, not slim, not intelligent, no sense of humor, a college drop out, unemployed, or maybe with kids already. But on a whole new different perspective, you'd settle with that someone because you guys can get along well, you see the world in its 180 degrees turn with his/her presence, or simply because he/she has a nice smile, nice pair of lips, nice teeth. Whatever it is, things are basically different as you age.

At the end of the day, it is not important what state of mind you belong or you enjoy most. What is important is how you live your life and how well you cope with life's indispensable realities. You may not be able to stomach these but that's the way it is. Life will never be as beautiful as you fantasize it. That is an inalienable truth on life.

Now, you may be wondering why the hell I'm speaking of rhetorics here and not on the film. Like I said earlier, the movie inspired me to make this post but this post ain't about the movie.

In my two decades of existence in this quite imperfect world (aw?), I have not yet engaged myself in a nine-kilometer distance of non-stop walk--not until few days ago when some of the members of the student publication (xempre kasali din me) willingly joined the "Walk the talk" activity organized by Foundation University to urge people in the community to care for the environment.

The marathon walk started in the wee hours of February 13. Since we are not really 'morning people', we had to be awoke before the dawn broke. We braved the chilling Saturday morning air just to go to Valencia where we all assembled.

When the walk started, we were almost oblivious of the distance because we all enjoyed with our respective chit chats. But as the walk progressed, we gradually felt our leg muscles aching. I thought I would not be able to make it but thank God, I did it! And I was so proud of it!

The environmental walk ended at the facade of Robinsons Place Dumaguete where a little program was conducted before we hit our separate ways. At first, the program was quite fine but as the politicians/participants were introduced and made their speeches on stage, what seemed to be a solemn campaign for the environment turned into a political rally as most of the politicians indubitably recited their rhetorical speeches to attract voters--albeit you can't easily put us, the youth, in your pockets, sirs.

Anyhow, it was a great activity although it was rather tiresome especially for me who live a couch potato lifestyle. So, have you walked that far--9km? I did! :)

I know I have been not only a lousy blogger, but by and large a lousy person last year. Matter-of-factly, I think lousy is an understatement. Let me itemize here some of the not so pleasing things I did in 2009 so that, although I have this feeling nothing would change this year, I can sort of battle against myself to change for the better.

In the previous year, I know I've hurt other people's feelings intentionally and unintentionally; I have become a pain in the neck for many people to the point that they have resorted to curse and despise me for as long as they're breathing; I failed to keep bundles of promises; I have become the cause of delay for many activities and projects; as always, I have become a procrastinator and left a lot of unfinished works resulting to my superiors inconvenience and frustration; for many times, I lied to many people; I failed to show affection to people I love; at times, I admit that I became greedy and selfish; I failed to do my responsibility as a man of God; and so on and so forth.

One does not need to wait for a new year to change. However, it is at this time that, like many people who are fond of new year's resolutions, I find inspiration and encouragement to do better and be better. It is at this time that I reflect on those shortcomings and lapses, and live a healthy lifestyle. Healthy not only physically but emotionally, financially, psychologically, socially, and spiritually as well.

So apart from working hard to improve on my aforementioned negative traits above, part of my new year's resolution is to, first and foremost, become a religious blogger so I could update my blog as frequent as possible, second would be to spend more quality time with my loved ones especially my immediate family and with God of course, next is to do better with my academics and by all means do everything to graduate come March this year, and I shall also do better with my work. Actually, there's still many things I want to include here but as of this writing, these are my priorities.

I know pretty well that words are not deeds, and that these resolutions shall remain futile unless I transpire them into actions. But with dedication and perseverance, along with God's guidance, nothing is impossible.

P.S.
I hope you guys had the best Holidays spent with your loved ones.
Well, I hadn't had the grandest and most lavish Christmas and New Year but it was just incomparable and memorable because I spent it, very rarely, with my family. There is nothing more fulfilling that every quality second I bonded with them.
Happy Holidays Bloggers!