Ordinary Thoughts

I’ve never been a book loving person all my life.
I haven’t even read a single fiction book when I was in high school.
Not until I forced myself to read the book I love you by Gordon Martinborough four years ago (if I remember it right).
The book was about handling marriage and other stuffs related to that (tama ba?).
I didn’t even know why I got interested in the book when I was completely naïve of those things then (hanggang ngayon pa rin naman ah!).
But I guess it’s those lines in the book that somehow taught me life’s lessons and realities.
I believe that the author was right when he said that the hardest job in the world is to decide.
True! (Bea, pahiram muna ng expression mo. Tutal wala ka na rin magagawa eh!)

Today, once again, the hardest job was cast upon my shoulders.
And I just hate it so much!
It was absolutely the hardest thing in the world, and I have the hardest feeling right now.
I feel so treacherous, dishonest, liar and all the synonyms of the word.

My high school friends, with my initiation, decided so have our class reunion today.
Everything was planned.
In fact, it took us more than two months to prepare for the awaited event.
I was, I mean, we were so convinced that it’ll surely be a day of fun for us.
We update each other almost everyday to make sure majority of our classmates will join.
We even meet twice a week to discuss about the event.
A week before it, we were at least 80 percent certain of the plan to be realized.

Then, here comes the day.
June 5, everybody started texting me at 9 am.
I had a feeling I can’t come so I did not bother responding.
They called me an hour later saying they're ready to go.
But where am I? (I won’t say an alibi)
I said still have to go to school to finish something and I will just follow after my job is done.
But hours have passed and the dark’s creeping (hapon pa lang kasi nang isulat ko to).
Ni anino ko, wala sa reunion namin.
I can’t come. I just knew it!

Pero anong klase akong kaibigan?
Ganito nga ba ang isang kaibigan?
Honestly, I can’t blame them if they want to curse me at the very moment.
Who will be happy with what I’ve done?
Life is always about making choices.
I chose not to go with them.
I went to school rather to do my obligation.
But they will not understand it and I don’t think they will try to understand it anyway!
Whatever my excuse is, the bottom line is “hindi ako tumupad sa usapan!”

And I hate myself for doing it.
Life doesn’t always go according to plan.
There are things that surprise us everyday.
Minsan kailangan mo lang talagang pumili kung alin ang mas matimbang.
They say that all work and no play makes a dull person.
But life is not all about fun. (ok lang naman magrelaks kung wala kanang gagawin diba?)
We have to come up with a mature decision everyday of our life.
That is a universal fact that no one is exempted.
It may not always be favorable to others, but you just have to stand by it.
In my case, I decided to prioritize my obligation.
I thought could follow later, but I was wrong.
And I’d like to apologize!
Please take time to understand guys. Thank you.