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A feeling of guilt...

Author: mavs // Category: ,

Last night, (if I may borrow these words from our EIC) marked another milestone in the annals of the publication’s history. We just had to put an end to the two-month training of the newbies in the publication.

To come up with a sound decision, the editorial board made a deliberation as to who’s going to make it and who’s not. It was not an easy task of course because whatever decision the board makes, it will directly or indirectly affect the motivation or maybe even the life of the newbies. It might even affect their studies, since we are all full time students here, although it totally depends on how they accept it.

And so a painstaking assessment to their performance during their stint in the publication became our solid basis for the decision. There were verbal tussles among the editors which only proved how difficult the tasked put on our shoulders that time. Matter-of-factly, we even had to reminisce how we went into the same process during our fresh months in the institution. Needless to say, we also felt the same amount of trepidation (if I may use it in lieu of nervousness), the same amount of thrill, and the same amount of cold sweats, thus we were utterly sensitive to their feelings. Of course we understand how painful and frustrating it must be for those who won’t make it, but we have to come up with a decision however hard it may be for us, for them.

I always believe that the hardest job in the world is to decide, and again, I have just proven it right last night. After a careful assessment and deliberation, we finally reached a unanimous decision. But our task did not end there for we still have to announce the decision to them.

Before we revealed their verdict, a series of speeches among all the staffers was done first. Then, finally, we heard the words from the newbies. Most of them were nervous, some tried to be confident, some were teary-eyed, and some even burst into tears. Now could you still break the bad news to them?

Nonetheless, we still have to tell them, after all what’s the use of our deliberation? I don’t know how it went so fast, but we were able to tell them in just a few minutes. But after that, the editors all felt the guilt haunting us. We just saw mixed emotions from them. For those who made it, we saw overflowing joy and gratitude, but of course, we also saw disappointment. I just hope that they would understand that our decision and accept it without hard feelings—I just hope because I was not able to sleep well last night. I have been in the publication for three joyful years now, but I’ve never been caught in I what I considered the most awkward situation of my student journalist’s life, until last night.

On a lighter side, I would like to congratulate those newbies who are now officially members of The NORSUnian. I hope you would continue to excel, stay humble, stay responsible, and keep your spirit up. God bless us.

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